What did you see?
Attorney: And what did you see when the defendant pulled down his pants? Witness: It looked like a penis, only smaller.
Why i was doing an utopsy?
Attorney: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr.Edgington at the Rose Chapel? Pathologist: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m. Attorney: And Mr. Edgington was dead at the time, is that correct? Pathologist: No, he was sitting on the table, wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
I can’t remember
Q. What is your brother-in-law’s name? A. Borofkin. Q. What’s his first name? A. I can’t remember. Q. He’s been your brother-in-law for years, and you can’t remember his first name? A. No. I tell you I’m too excited. (Rising from the witness chair and pointing to Mr. Borofkin.) Nathan, for God’s sake, tell them your first name!
Any other questions?
Defendant: Judge, I want you to appoint me another lawyer. Judge: And why is that? Defendant: Because my lawyer isn’t interested in my case. Judge (to lawyer): Do you have any comments on defendant’s motion? Lawyer: I’m sorry, Your Honor. I wasn’t listening. Judge: All right. Any other questions?
Who is your lawyer
The Court: Who is your lawyer? Defendant: Do I have to expose him? The Court; Well, certainly. Defendant: Jehovah. The Court: Joe Who? Defendant: Jehovah. The Court: Is he a member of the Washington State Bar Association?
He should be present
Prospective Juror: Judge, I would like to be excused from jury duty because my wife is about to become pregnant. Attorney: Judge, he doesn’t mean his wife is about to become pregnant;he means she is about to deliver. Judge: He may be excused. In either case he should be present.
He couldn’t pronunciate his words
Q. Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence? A. Because he was argumentary and he couldn’t pronunciate his words.
Did he kill you?
Q. What happened then? A. He told me, he says, “I have to kill you because you can identify me.” Q. Did he kill you? A. No.
When i go to work
Q. Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A. No. This is how I dress when I go to work.
I must banish
THE COURT: Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present information and prejudice from your minds, if you have any.