Associated Press
“According to the Associated Press, there’s a rumor that Saddam Hussein is now hiding weapons in schools. When asked why, Saddam said, because a school is the last place President Bush will look.”
President Bush’s response
“A lot of students around the country protested the war today. The National Youth and Student Peace Coalition sponsored an anti-war organization called ‘Books Not Bombs.’ President Bush’s response: ‘Why do you want to drop books on them?’”
You are Bush
I am Saddam. Saddam I am. I am the ruler of Iraq, The country that you would attack. You are Bush. Bush you are. The fame of you has spread afar. You do not like me, Bush, I know. You would not like me in a show. You would not like me in the snow. You simply wish that I would go. You say I used to slaughter Kurds. You say that I use naughty words. You say I have an evil stash Of weapons of destruction (mass), Of bombs and missiles, germs and gas. You say I tried to kill your Pop. Oh, how I wish that you would stop! I promise you I have no stash Of weapons of destruction (mass). I did not hide them in a trunk. I did not hide them in my bunk. I did not hide them anywhere. In short, they simply are not there. Please don’t be angry, don’t be sore. We don’t need to have a war. Let’s go back to the good old days When your dad and Reagan sang my praise. I was your faithful ally then. Why can’t we be friends again? I say, let’s let this whole thing drop. (My best regards to your dear Pop.)
The vast majority
“The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.” - George W. Bush
MEMO TO THE FAA
Subject: MEMO TO THE FAA Date: June 2002
Dear Sirs:
I’ve had a lot of time on my hands of late and believe that I may have the solution for the prevention of hijackings, and at the same time we just might get the Airline industry back on its feet.
Here’s my plan:
Since Muslim men are not allowed to look at naked women, we should replace all of our flight attendants with naked females. Muslims would not then board our planes for fear of seeing a naked woman. Of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again in anticipation of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt and the airline industry would probably have record sales. Hell, I’d fly all over just for the scenery.
It truly puzzles me that our Republican Congress didn’t already come up with this. Am I the only one who thinks clearly on these issues?
Sincerely, Bush
If we don’t
“If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.” - George W. Bush
One word sums up
“One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.” - Governor George W. Bush
I have made good judgments
“I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.” - Governor George W. Bush
The future
“The future will be better tomorrow.” - Governor George W. Bush
We’re going
“We’re going to have the best educated American people in the world.” - Governor George W. Bush